Are you a Hipster?

September 8th, 2014 by Pearson

Image courtesy of:

Image courtesy of:

Hipsters are everywhere, and if you have not heard the word hipster being mentioned you should be worried. In a nutshell, being a hipster entails being anti-conformist, ironically, while wearing the ‘latest trends’ that were bought at a second-hand clothing shop or found in the forgotten part of parents’ closets.

Frequenting coffee shops to feign quasi-intellectualism while smoking roll-ups is another pre-requisite of belonging to this band of ‘individuals’, and below you will find a list of a few tell-tale signs you can use to gauge whether you are a hipster or not.

What kind of bicycle do you ride?

Any self-respecting hipster owns a bike, as it shows their deep understanding of environmental issues and the plight of Earth. Owning a comfortable and functional set of wheels is not an option and only a one-speed bike will do. For the sake of hipster-authenticity, a pre-WWII looking bike will do best and a basket should be used to complete the look.

Where do you hang out and what do you drink?

Finding a suitable hipster bar is difficult, nigh impossible, as the only suitable watering hole should be so exclusive that nobody knows about it. Hipsters work around this issue by attending the opening nights of venues and bars in order for them to never have to go back there – as the purity of the spot will have been tainted. Ordering a drink can be complex, as only beverages that nobody has heard of will do, which makes craft beers particularly popular.

What do you wear?

Wearing thick rimmed spectacles without prescription lenses is an oft-observed trademark of hipster trendoids and forget about wearing anything with a well-known mainstream label. This is, of course, unless they manage to find a retro-1970’s original Adidas shirt or one of their dad’s Levi’s that he wore when he was in high school. If this is not possible hipsters will invariably find themselves in second hand clothing stores, scouring the bargain bins for ‘real fashion’. The result of all this careful attention is a group of people who all look the same while wearing old second-hand clothing.

How you communicate?

Only one phone will do, and that is an iPhone. Although this one of the most expensive phones on the market it does allow hipsters to Instagram every detail of their inane lives, such as what they had for lunch. Interestingly, despite shunning most popular devices, Mac computers feature highly on their list of belongings – along with coffee beans that have made their way through the digestive tract of a lama before being sold to unsuspecting hipsters.

If you are reading this and find that you, in most cases, can fit into al or a few these descriptions it would be pretty safe to assume that you are a bona fide follower of the movement. If, however, you are revolted at this realisation it is never too late to make some serious changes to your lifestyle.